01/01/2007 ; 1/01/2007 10:38:00 pm?
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?When they know they're your heart.And you know you are their armour.And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em.But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?What happens when you become the main source of a pain?
Look What I Did.
She Said:"Derek look what I made"Dear where's your dad? I can't find him where is he?"
Derek:I don't know go play Hailie, baby,I am busy,I am planning somethings, this things ain't gonna plan itself.I'll give you one $100 then you gotta swing by yourself.Then turn right around on that song and tell her you love her.
That's Derek, yeah baby, Derek's crazy,Derek made me, but tonight Derek's rocka-by-baby...
And when I'm gone, just carry on,no problem.Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice.Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling,And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain,Just smile back!
Don't neglect your girlfriend!
Hey! Have you ever been hated, or discriminated against by bullier? I have, I've been protested and demostrated against Picket signs for my wickid rhymes, look at the times Sick of this mind, of some freakin kid that's behind All this commotion, emotions run deep as oceans exploding Tempers flaring from them just blow em off and keep going Not taking nothing from no one, give em hell long as I'm breathing Keep kicking my ass in the morning, and taking names in the evening Leaving with the taste of sour with viniger in they mouth See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out Look at me now, I betcha prolly sick of me now Ain't you friends, I'ma make you look so ridiculous now
I got some damn ass in my mind.And I dont know if no one knows it So before they knows i throw them out of my mind and expose it.I'll take you back to '2004 Before I ever step into my sec 3,I was a kid maybe I was just too childesh,My faggot friends must've had his panties up in a bunch 'Cause he split, I wonder if they even treat me good but No they don't, on second thought I just freaking wished they would die,I look at Hailey, and I couldn't picture leaving her side Even if I hated Kim, I grin my teeth and I try to make it work With her atleast for Hailie's sake I maybe made some mistakes.But I'm only human and I'm man enough to face them today What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun Cause I'd of killed em, shit I would've shot Kim and them both It's my life, I'd like to welcome ya'll to the Derek's show.
*LETTER*
Dear Derek, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom.I sent two letters back in autumn You must not have got 'emIt probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em.But anyways, screw it, what's been up man, how's you?My girlfriend's pregnant, I'm about to be a father.If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm name her Bonnie. I read about your uncle Mr.Lim too, I'm sorry I had a friend kill himself over some girls who didn't want him.I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.I even got the underground shit that you did with Guo Ming. I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.I like the shit you did with Guo Ming too, that shit was fat.Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Nick.
Dear Derek, you still ain't called or wrote,I hope you have the chance.I ain't mad, I just think it's freak up you don't answer fans.If you didn't want to talk to me outside your house,You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours and ya just said no.That's pretty shitty man, you're like his best's idol.He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do. I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.Remember when we met in Tampines, you said if I write you,You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.I never knew my father neither.He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her. I can relate to what you're sayin.So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on.Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps when I'm depressed.I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest. Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me.See, everything you say is real, and I respect you'cause you tell it.My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.But she don't know you like I know you, Derek, no one does.She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan,you'll ever lose.Sincerely yours, Nick. PS: We should be together too.
Dear Mr Derek. "I'm too good to call or write my fans"This'll be the last package I ever send to your ass.It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it?I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 140km on the freeway.Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?"You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"?About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning?But didn't? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him?That's kinda how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning.Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call.I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall.I love you Derek, we could have been together. Think about it.You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it.I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me.See Derek,{screamin} shut up man, I'm trying to talk.Hey Derek, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.But I didn't slit her throat,I just tied her up, see I ain't like you.'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more,and then she'll die too.Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
I replied..
Dear Nick, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy.You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that.And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote iton your Starter cap. I'm sorry I didn't see you at the void deck, I must have missed you.Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you.And what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?I say that shit just clownin' dawg,c'mon, how freak up is you?You got some issues, Nick, I think you need some counselin'To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some. And what's this shit about us meant to be together?That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.I really think you and your girlfriend need each other.Or maybe you just need to treat her better.I hope you get to read this letter.I just hope it reaches you in time.Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin'just fine if you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Nick,why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.I just don't want you to do some crazy shit.I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick.Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge.And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid.And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to Come to think about it...his name was...it was you.
DAMN!
